This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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