and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
