dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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