never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
