this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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