I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
