I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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