would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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