Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
