I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize