I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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