Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
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