Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize