so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
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I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
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its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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