I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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