I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
A bitchslap is in order.
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