and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
