dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
