I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
