Buhtt sex?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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