I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
