dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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