He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
