I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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