the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize