So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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