In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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