her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
