dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
