Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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