I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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