What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
