my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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