Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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