The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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