They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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