absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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