cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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