I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
