For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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