So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
