if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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