i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize