what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
