I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize