Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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