so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
that is very illegal...i love you.
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