FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
