they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
