I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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