It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize