this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
