No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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