she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize