As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
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Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
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This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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