is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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