okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
