They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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