i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
