JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
