dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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