Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize