I wish I could punch you in the face.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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