i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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