mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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