Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
