I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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