She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
