Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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